I like to think I’m a good sport, that I can take a joke. It’s not that easy to catch me out, but Kate and Kelly manage it often enough and Mel has her moments, too. But this shit, for over THREE hours? That was just mean. I slapped the Pope on his back, while a heavily armed guard was standing behind me! I could have been capped like a ginger rapper. A nun lied to me. A NUN! Okay, a novice. But still. Meanwhile, they had me working like a dog in a sweltering kitchen while I was starving.“Was that old geezer really hurt or was that part of it?” I demanded of Melody, who was sent after me to calm me down. She had her arms crossed and wore her ‘Mrs. Huxtable’ expression, as we call it when she can’t hear us. That expression means she’s not taking your shit right now, and it has been passed on from black mothers to their daughters since time immemorial, getting scarier with each new generation.“Don’t yell at me. I had a perfectly horrible afternoon as well. I nearly kill a priest, I have. ” I looked at her as she said this.“Hold on. You don’t want me to spank you when you’re tied down?” I was getting confused now.“Oh I do! But I knew you wouldn’t want to, but I had to show mummy! I’m sorry daddy John.” She did look so unhappy that I had to hug her.“That’s okay Tania, I’m sorry I’m so weak.” I told her she pulled away from me.“But daddy John you’re not weak! If you were, you would have given up and spanked me as I asked you. I do wish you were my daddy. ‘Cos you’d punish me when I really deserved it, not just because I asked for it.” Her face was so determined that I almost gave in.“Thank you Tania, now I will be weak enough to tie you down, but first I think you’d better use the toilet. I’m not sure how long you’re going to be here.” I said to her. She smiled her thanks and ran from the room.I looked at the camera, which was still watching me. “Janet, I hope you realize that if I had been the type of person that the social services think I am then Tania would been in.
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